OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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