But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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