I wish my penis had an off switch
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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