He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He better not be in your backpack
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize