we have pet lesbian snakes
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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