Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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