if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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