Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
