I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
