In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
