Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
