He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
