do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
