she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm at about main and main street
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
