At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
