ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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