Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
