i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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