i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
not ubering you a puppy
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
