I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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