Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
