Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
