where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
