Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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