I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We left the knife in your bed.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
