apparently the secret to your success is patron
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
