IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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