I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
