hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
