Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
