Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
