Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
