You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
