You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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