But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
