What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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