Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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