If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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