now i know why i became what i already was.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
