I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
