Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
