I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
