check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
