but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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