Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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