Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
