Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
