You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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