DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
