is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize