i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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