I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
