Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
