I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize