do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
