Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
