jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
