Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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