Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
